Beetle Ninja

Beetle Ninja is one of those games that kinda sneaks up on you. The world's ending in two short weeks because this guy, the Beetle Ninja himself, accidentally kicked off a massive cataclysm. Sounds like a typical «save the world» plot, right? But here's the twist: you don't actually have to do anything about it. You can literally just chill at home, rent a movie, hit the spa and wait for everything to go kaput, that freedom is the whole vibe. It's structured over 14 in game days and each day you decide how to spend it: taking on missions, recruiting other ninjas or just wasting time. The hub world changes around you as the days pass, which is a neat touch that makes the countdown to doomsday feel real. Also, it's got this EarthBoundish look, all chunky and colorful but with its own offbeat charm that fans of that style will instantly click with.

Gameplay-wise, it's built for multiple playthroughs. You've got 13 unique party members to hire, each with their own personality and battle gimmicks. The turn based combat is pretty standard RPG Maker fare and honestly it's the weakest link here, battles are slow or tedious, especially when enemies are just damage sponges and the strategy's shallow but the game kinda knows that and makes combat mostly optional if you're not about it. The real fun is in the day to day life sim stuff, exploring and talking to people. Plus, there are 11 different missions and different endings, so you're encouraged to jump back in and see what happens if you make different choices or recruit a different squad.

The atmosphere is where Beetle Ninja really shines. It's got a somewhat cozy feel, mixing mundane daily life with the looming dread of the apocalypse. The dialogue is funny and charming but it can also hit you with some emotional weight with the ninjas' backstories, and the soundtrack's stacked, with 70 tracks by PostElvis and guest spots from composers who worked on Oddity, the MOTHER 4 fanproject and Pizza Tower, the music is a banger from start to finish. It's no wonder it snagged awards for best soundtrack and art direction back in the pandemic. The pixel art, especially for the night activities is super expressive as well and adds so much personality. Some people find the story a bit too whimsical or nonsensical but for others, that's exactly the point.

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But look, it ain't perfect. Besides the so so combat, there are some typos, bugs and the lack of an experience system or equipment means progression is all about who you hire rather than leveling up. Some missions feel like fetch quests and the game can be confusing on a first run which might lead to a disappointing early ending, but most people forgive those flaws for one simple reason: it's free, so you're getting a deeply replayable and stylish hidden gem for the price of zero dollars. If you're into EarthBound, OFF, LISA or just vibey RPG Maker projects, you owe it to yourself to spend a few afternoons with Beetle Ninja. Just don't hire Rage, Twin or Mine Ninja unless you like your own team hurting themselves.

The clock's ticking, dude… That world ending cataclysm thing is creeping closer and some rando on the street keeps yelling about it. You gonna step up or just bingewatch till everything goes boom? Just hit the download button and see for yourself or if you're feeling a little sketchy, you can try summoning it through the dark arts, y'know what I mean. Once you're done, the Beetle Ninja will be chillin' on your system like it was always meant to be there.